“the final curtain”

the room spins around me… overwhelmed by what i fear… overwhelmed by what i feel… are you as scared as me?… act i: the stage of exhilarating youth & pure innocence… act ii: the stage of unbearable frustration & the burdening of anger… act iii: confusion & possible closure?… i never looked so far ahead in my life…  should i stifle my emotions?… would it be unfair to me?… should i speak my truths for you to hear?… would it be unfair to you?… if i confess this to you… would it make it any better?… and what would be gained?… and what would be lost?… i’m afraid of what you’ll say… i have that feeling again… of physical sickness… mixed emotions… where do you stand?… if i don’t ask i’ll never know… and if i were to see you… would i catch a glimpse of the feelings you try to hide?… you try to deny?… and would it make a difference if i were to speak?… did i catch you off guard, did you feel just as weak… when you heard my voice on the other line of static?… i heard the grin on your face… as angelic as my memories of you… before all was lost by those you chose to believe… losing grips on everything….. 

©1999 josephine b. ciliento

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