crawl into my safe haven… an exact replication of an untouched womb… scratch my random thoughts into a fresh notebook… with my pen at my side and wounds still bleeding… i walk the streets to work in amazement and disgust… how could a life lived literally turn to dust?… a product of our environment… deteriorating society… we’re killed off everyday… it’s a shame we never see the light of darkness until it hits home… and only then does it hurt… does it hurt?… a question that echoes through my mind… help me to lift my cynical thoughts on life, love and the lack of humanity that’s disease this world… our world put to death by greedy men with unlimited means of mass destruction… i await the repercussions… in fetal position i lie on my bed… struggling to embrace my mother with eyes of fear, wipe the dirt behind my ears… oh mother do you realize all you mean to me?… you’ve created me… i’m nothing without you… keep me from the harm of a world unkind to sensitive eyes… i’ve gone blind from all i’ve seen… but i’m too dumb to go numb… i feel the pain of others as if it were my own… compassionate to all that surrounds me… and then i wonder why i get hurt… why do i get stepped on?… mama we both know you didn’t raise a fool… so why am i so naïve?… why do i allow the words to seethe?… burning a hole so enormous… you can see right through me… a wind knocks me down… and i remain on the ground… waiting for you to pick me up… cradle me in your arms… i’m frightened of an imperfect world… i’ve lost my defenses… i’ve got no defenses… i’m not defenseless… i let it all bother me… and the message in the bottle that floats in my mind reads: “you’re bound to drown in the high tide”… and still i insist on surfing in the storm…..
© 1999 josephine b. ciliento